Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
