Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
