someone owes me an orgasm
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
