I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
