I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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