3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
