Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
