please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
