I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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