called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize