Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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