You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
