Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just pee around me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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