May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
