Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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