Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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