So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
