Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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