Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
