question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
