then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She bit a glass in half.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Im part way to drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
