all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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