break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
