Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
