If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
