so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
