i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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