normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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