So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
