Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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