I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to calm my uterus...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize