There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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