He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
