babies were throwing up all over the place
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
