Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
