At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
