She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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