dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
