I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize