can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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