I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
