The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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