We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
