May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
