My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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