it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think your dad took our porno
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
