thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize