Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
