I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
