You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
