TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
