margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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