New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize