I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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