why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
