dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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