Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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