dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
