with your own penis?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
