drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
