Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
