I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize