I just made out with a guy for $7.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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