This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
