Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
