Got a toothbrush?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Shame is for Republicans.
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